The Son I Never Had
by Jade Pen
Summary: Once more, Roy Mustang holds the future of an Elric in the palm of his hand...


**Title:** The Son I Never Had  
**Author:** Jade Pen  
**The Occasion:** Kazaera's 19th birthday. Many happy returns of the day!  
**Rating:** PG  
**Author's Notes:** This is a response to Kazaera's request for a Roy-Al parental fic. I hope that it's enjoyable.

* * *

He could hardly believe his ears. Roy Mustang had heard many things in his life; some of which were absolute lies, some of which were so bizarre that they had to be true. But of all of those, _this_ topped the list. 

"You want me to do _what_?" He drummed his fingers against his desk as his mind whirled with the new knowledge: Edward Elric was gone, likely dead. Alphonse Elric was more alive than he had been in years, and was determined to bring him back. Not one, but _two_ cases of human transmutation, performed one after the other. It was impossible; no one had ever heard of such a thing.

But the proof was right before his eyes. A living, _breathing_ Alphonse Elric, only twelve years of age but with the determination in his eyes that few adults ever achieved. He was just like his brother, in a way; determined but still a child, lost in the present but with a firm goal in his future.

Vulnerable and invincible at the same time. His voice didn't shake at all as he said, "I want to become a State Alchemist. It's the only way I can get access to the clues my brother... no, that _we_ found. If I can get those, then I will be able to find a way to perfect his technique, and someday, I will bring him back."

Roy rubbed the bridge of his nose with his hands, and looked at the boy with his one good eye. "You know that my career's over. My name doesn't carry any weight anymore; you'd be better off asking General Mirage for assistance."

"No, sir." The boy's slate-grey eyes narrowed. "You were the closest person to him after me. If anyone knew where he hid his notes, it would be you. I... I need you to help me."

Slowly, very slowly, the older man stood up. "Request denied. I will not see you as a dog of the military. Not while we're still at war with Drachma and Aerugo." _I don't want you to suffer through what I had to_, he didn't add.

Somehow, though, Alphonse knew what he was thinking. "But research alchemists are not required to report for combat duty. I would be able to continue his research while avoiding military service. If anything, that would be safer than to wait until I'm drafted."

Roy knew the game they were playing now; Al had very obviously prepared for this meeting, and he had no doubt rehearsed his arguments numerous times before. It was a difference between them; Edward was loud and spontaneous, Alphonse was quiet and focused. Both of them had their strong points, though they were always strongest together. This was, perhaps, why they spent so much of their lives living for each other; they were not complete alone.

And no matter how hard he tried, Roy Mustang would not be able to provide them the help that they need. "You are deceiving yourself. Research alchemists will be called in if the need is great enough, and your reputation as the brother of the former Full Metal Alchemist will land you straight into the warzone. Do you honestly want that?"

"For my brother..." Alphonse's gaze was steady and sure, the steely glare drilling through Mustang's one eye. "I would do anything. I don't care what I lose or what I am forced to do. You, of all people, should know this."

Roy could only shake his head. "Your brother said the same thing. You know where that got him."

"It got him his dream!" Alphonse couldn't hold back the emotion in his voice any longer, he was becoming more and more animated. "It cost him, yes, but the result is _right before your eye_! Yes, he sacrificed and slaved, but he got what he wanted. I want the same thing."

"It did _not_, Alphonse. His dream was to restore what you lost and to go back to the life that you two had. That didn't come true. Just the one part, the one that he wanted most. Was that worth it?"

"No... and that's why I need to work as much as I can on my end." He paused for a moment, to collect his breath and his thoughts, then amended, "I can understand why you don't want me to become a State Alchemist. If that's true, then just tell me where his notebook is, and I'll continue on from there. That should contain all of his research, so I wouldn't need the Central Library."

It was getting harder and harder for Roy to keep up his veil of half-truths and lies; his voice nearly cracked, "I don't have it. I don't know where it is. It probably died with your brother."

"If I can't have my brother back, then there's no reason for me to go on living. He gave his life for me; the least I could do would be to return the favor. I'm sorry to take up your time." With that, Alphonse turned to leave.

"Alphonse Elric!" The words cut through the air like knives, paralyzing the younger man in his tracks. "Don't even consider that possibility. Your brother gave up everything for you; do you honestly think he'd want you to squander that gift?"

"I don't know." Alphonse slowly turned around. "I honestly don't know. That's the problem."

Roy knew that he was being manuevered; that much he knew from his own younger days. But he really couldn't bring himself to play hardball with the younger Elric; if he had grown up to be anything like his brother, then he would act upon that despair quickly. Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled out a sheaf of papers. "Here. Here's the registration form for the upcoming examination. I'll sponsor you, just as I did your brother."

Alphonse reached for it, but Roy pulled it away. "One more thing, Alphonse. All of this is against my will; if I thought that there was any other way that you would listen to, then I would take it. I... don't want to hear you complain, should your dream turn out wrong."

The boy only smiled. "I will only blame myself if that happens. Thank you for understanding, Roy. I mean, Brigadier General Mustang, sir."

And with the papers firmly in his grip, Alphonse strode off, just like his brother had done so many years before. After he had left, Roy reached below his desk, and opened the safe that he had kept sealed ever since that fateful day.

"Forgive me, Alphonse. I need you to understand just how dark and miserable the world can be to a dreamer. I don't care if you hate me when you find out... if I can keep you from repeating Edward's mistake, then I will consider myself a successful man."

Inside the safe was a single, leather-bound notebook. It had no decorations, no title, and the only thing that set it apart from any other journal was the large amount of now-yellowing bookmarks.

"When he's ready for the world," Roy muttered to himself, "When he's finally seen the truth. Then I'll give it to him."

Then he flipped open the cover. There; in a thin, spidery hand, was written, "Thoughts of Edward Elric. The Full Metal Alchemist."


End file.
